Once upona time I was stabbed repeatedly by a paranoid schizophrenic who believed that by killing me she would save the world. As both the world and I remain, I am unsure as to whether her mission was a success or failure. It would be true to say she almost managed to kill me but death was not quite what I expected....

Some years after the attempted murder I wrote an autobiographical account to offer back my insights and understandings. I thought it would be very different to have the story told from the viewpoint of the one who was supposed to be dead. As my first stepfather was the legendary comedian Max Wall, I couldn't resist telling the tale with a healthy dollop of humour and pathos. The book 'A Stranger in Paradise' (Bloomsbury, London) attracted worldwide media attention because it made people cry as much with laughter as with outrage, and it provoked some lively public discussions and debates.

A Stranger in Paradise is a multi-faceted real life drama; a story of crime due to mental illness; a story about survival and the battle to regain physical and mental well-being; a quest for truth and an account of false accusation and injustice; an adventure far beyond the confines of a physical body; a humorous narrative of a voyage through our supposedly caring and free-speaking society - a society where justice is very often directly proportional to the amount you can afford to pay your lawyer; it is,ultimately the story of a spiritual awakening.

By sheer synchronicity its first review in the London Times had an unrelated article about Max Wall on the same page, all the more unusual as it was some years after his death. Ironically the British media deliberately set out to destroy Max's reputation back in the fifties, resulting in a terrible backlash on our family life and leaving me with a lifelong tendency to not take too seriously much of what I read in the press. Max was the first in a long line of people helping me to understand what was beneath outrageous behaviour. He was a 'manic depressive' and his outbursts of fulminating rage were destructive and dangerous. Yet through him I learnt the virtues of kindness, tolerance and forgiveness. Even as a child I somehow always knew that it was never personal and that he loved us. After he had smashed up anything in his path, including my mother, he would seemingly 'wake up' and cry out in horror 'Did I did this?' and he would be suffused with instant remorse. And there began my fascination in wanting to understand what it is inside us that can cause such mayhem.

The book received extraordinary media coverage, which sparked curiosity and questions, and as a result I was invited to speak about my story with thousands of people around the world. In the midst of horror I discovered something truly wonderful about the purpose of human life. I had been permitted glimpses into the heart of the Divine Mystery and I longed to know more. I therefore refused to be pigeonholed as a grim faced victim, although this was the angle many photographers and journalists wanted. The BBC asked me to co-write and direct a documentary, which received wonderful critical acclaim demonstrating a genuine curiosity by the general public to know more about the mystery of death and the power of love and forgiveness.

"You do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already within you, and allowing that goodness to emerge." Eckhart Tolle (A New Earth)



You may buy the book by clicking on the link below. If you would prefer a signed copy, please contact me directly.