THE RESCUE

When I eventually managed to escape from my cottage home I had a long crawl to the road, but was followed by my assailant who plunged the carving knife into my back, where it got stuck. As I struggled to the gate crying for help I saw passers-by running away, not that I blamed them, for in their shoes I probably would have done the same. I managed to drag myself into the road figuring cars would have to stop, but they drove around me. By now my attacker had removed the knife and decided to finish me off by attempting to remove my head. My rescue was serendipitous. A young fearless man appeared from nowhere and disarmed her. Curious onlookers gathered around arguing about whether it was worth calling an ambulance, as they were reputedly on strike. One man announced that he didn't want to cover me with his jacket because 'the blood would ruin it'. I was given up as dead by the first police officers arriving at the crime scene. Lying in that cold wet Hampshire driveway I was totally aware of everything going on around me. I remember thinking, 'Look at it this way kid, from here things can only get better'. From a place beyond physical form I experienced profound feelings of compassion, forgiveness and love towards my psychotic attacker and the unhelpful 'accident-onlookers'. I understood the meaning of Christ's words, 'Father forgive them, they know not what they do'. The almost exsanguinated pile of flesh and bones slumped in the drive seemed to have little to do with who I was. I cheered inwardly when my partner arrived on the scene. Cutting through the indecision and fear surrounding me he acted with immense courage and certainty. My subsequent survival from the multiple stab wounds, of which five were within a millimetre of killing me, was considered to be a miracle. I was, and am still, overwhelmed with gratitude for those who fought to save my life.

RECOVERY

It took many months to put myself and my affairs in order. Yet another shock occurred when after reading the small print in my home, work and private policies I discovered that I was uninsured. As a result of this and along with a very low payout from the Criminal Injuries Compensation Board (thanks to an alcoholic solicitor who lost most of my file) I used all my savings to finance the expensive road to recovery. Leaving my conventional life, work and by mutual consent my relationship behind, I set off on a quest. I needed to heal on many levels and consequently only wanted to be around people who could help me understand what was happening to me from the highest perspective. Gushing sympathy and ghoulish curiosity were of no help and were to be avoided! My life had been totally turned on its head, and at night some part of my awareness was exploding out of my body and travelling into far-flung heavens and hells - I was even attending classes on the meaning of life in exquisite locations within these subtle worlds. As a result of the attack a doorway had been left open between this world and other realms, and I really wanted to learn how to keep it open and how to stay safe. In this extraordinary period of new beginnings I met Richard, a fellow adventurer, who was destined to become my husband.

THE SPIRITUAL QUEST

We were invited to caretake an old stone farmhouse by the Mediterranean, and our extraordinary quest began. For more than twenty-two years we travelled extensively and studied, mysticism, healing and eastern philosophy. The spiritual masters and teachers who invited us into their ashrams, caves, homes and classrooms generously shared their sacred teachings and wisdom. Their infinite kindness and patience helped me to meditate upon, assimilate, contemplate and finally understand the meaning of my experiences. Through what I would now call God's immense Grace I found answers to life's big questions and I discovered how to embody this knowledge far beyond an intellectual level.